Scotland and Ireland both announced honours yesterday for the outgoing England football coach, Sven Goran Eriksson. The Lord Mayor of Dublin unveiled plans to make Eriksson a freeman of the city, the highest honour available to an individual. The mayor cited Eriksson's achievement of screwing the English out of £5 million a year (and around £25m in total) for doing absolutely nothing as the reason for the bestowal. The Scots were so impressed with the Swede for the same reason that they invented a new honour especially for him - "Hero of the Scottish Highlands". Australia is also believed to be close to announcing a new honour for the peripatetic priapic pom manager.
When contacted about the honours, Eriksson expressed delight, adding that he was looking forward to meeting the women of the honouring countries.
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