Scientists have announced a solution to the problem of dwindling oil stocks and rising human consumption of fossil fuels. Speaking from his laboratory yesterday, Prof. Maxwell Nescafe of the University of Bogota, Columbia declared that his research team had perfected highly efficient technology to extract oil from coffee beans.
The oil, when combined with several additives, has been found to be as efficient as petroleum for running automobiles, while its only exhaust product is an appealing aroma. Prof. Nescafe estimated that a plantation the size of Ecuador would easily meet projected worldwide demands over the next 50 years.
The US responded to the news by immediately adding Brazil, by far the world's leading coffee producer, to the Axis of Evil and drawing up plans to invade.
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