Most Expensive Irish Timber Identified

With the publishing of RTE salaries, forestry experts have declared that Pat "The Plank" Kenny is the most expensive completely wooden object in Ireland.

The Plank earns €899,000 per annum, which is a steal really as it only takes 5,800 licence payers to pay his salary. The real cost to the licence payer, however, is protecting Pat from wet rot in the damp Irish climate. That is reputed to cost €6.5 million per annum, or around 42,000 licence fees.