Embezzler uses the Bertie defence

There was dramatic testimony at the trial of Ima Crooke in the Four Courts yesterday. Accused of embezzling funds from his employer, the defendant astonished court officials with his dazzling defence manoeuvre.

Under cross examination from the prosecution, Mr Crooke claimed that it was company money for private use that he had used to finance his lifestyle. Judge Doddery Auldgit had no choice but to dismiss the case, stating that if that nonsensical excuse was good enough for the Taoiseach of the country to squirm out of charges of indecorous behaviour, it was good enough for Mr Crooke.