Man Sells Kidney for House Deposit

A young Dublin man in has taken advantage of his unique physiology to enable him to finally get on the housing ladder.

Joe FlatFoot, a 23 year old Garda based in Tallaght, was born with a rare condition called Trinephritis which affects only 1 person in every 10 million. Sufferers are born with an extra functioning kidney which allows them to filter fluids with remarkable efficiency. While rueing the loss of the ability to drink his friends under the table, Mr Flatfoot has decided to sell one of his 3 kidneys to an ill stockbroker to finance the purchase of his dream home.

Talking exclusively to Scrap Sunday, Mr FlatFoot felt the chance to own his own property was receding further and further; 'I've been saving hard for the past 3 years, but house prices have been rising quicker than I can accumulate funds. This way, I finally get ahead of the game and put a deposit on my dream 400 sq ft 1 bed bijou apartment in New Ross'.

Mr Flatfoot denied that he was acting recklessly, stating that he was simply taking advantage of his biological abnormality. He went further, stating 'Down the road, I can even sell off another kidney if I want to trade up. I hear that there is a market for testicles in Germany. The possibilities are endless. My body is really giving me hope for the future'.

The taoiseach, Bertie Ahern, lauded Mr Flatfoot's initiative, saying "This is the kind of entrepreneurship that sustains Ireland's vibrant economy". Mr Ahern added that it was vital for the Celtic Tiger that the construction industry remains bouyant and it was unreasonable to expect property developers to attend the Galway Races in an old model S-Class Mercedes.